Shark Week (2012) Reviews

• The Manos-Hands-of-Fate of SyFy movies.

  Mr. OpEd2012-08-05

  To be fair, I only got to see the last 40 minutes, but that was enough to make this one of the absolute WORST movies I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot of really stinky movies, mostly by Asylum, but all the classic stinkers too like Manos). Patrick Bergin and Yancy Butler (who seems to have a nervous eye flutter) play a psycho couple who live in a giant mansion but spend most of their time in what appears to be a broom closet decked out with some lap tops and not-so-big video screens. They are forcing some none-too-bright people to make their way through deadly shark encounters which all look like they can be easily be avoided by simply NOT GOING WHERE THE SHARKS ARE. There's also some land mines on a beach that are easily seen and can be outrun once they start exploding but are handy for carrying with you in case you have to hang onto a stalagmite while fending off a really hideous CG shark. Calling the acting wooden is an insult to wood. The music is incessantly wrong for the "action" and the direction and editing are hilarious (lots of scenes of people walking and emoting for no apparent reason). But it is a hoot to make fun of while you're watching it. I hope that all involved get better at what they're doing or find other lines of work.

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• Saw meets Jaws but with no fun, excitement or sense of terror

  TheLittleSongbird2013-08-29

  For The Asylum, Shark Week is not their worst or quite awful enough to be one of them. That doesn't stop it though from being a complete failure in every area, and that's even when you know what to expect. Some of the locations are nice and exotic but others also look as though they were shot in a run-down warehouse or basement. That cheap look is made even worse by the choppy editing and terrible special effects. If you've seen the quality of the sharks in other Asylum or SyFy movies that are similar, it's pretty much the same in Shark Week, the sharks are so cheaply rendered and not only don't look real but they don't look natural in their surroundings. They also don't have any personality either, which severely dilutes any terror or tension, the actors don't even look all that terrified when really the situation would be scary for anybody. The music is at a very sluggish tempo especially in the scenes containing action, the scoring of the build-ups to the attacks is predictable. The dialogue has always been one of the weakest aspects of an Asylum movie, and there is no change here as this is very cheesy and stilted scripting. And you don't connect with any of the characters, as with everything else Shark Week doesn't give time to develop them or you the time to properly root for them. The story just doesn't seem to have any life, Shark Week is very poorly paced throughout, the action shows the worst of the editing and lifeless choreography and the shark attacks suffer from a complete lack of tension and visual cheapness, if you're expecting to be afraid of going into seas now you won't get that vibe. It also seemed rather tame, you'd expect a crossover of Saw and Jaws to have a similar impact to those movies but here it feels like Saw but without the harrowing violence and Jaws without the eerie nail-biting suspense. The acting is very bad too, Patrick Bergin and Yancy Butler are far too over-the-top and don't make any effort to reign in and give their characters depth or any quality that makes you connect with them. While the acting of victims are wooden with nobody seeming to properly care about whether they lived or died. Overall, dull, cheap and not much fun at all, more avoided than recommended. 1/10 Bethany Cox

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• Even for low budget shark movies this is horrible

  mikee42013-05-03

  The plot is awful, a rich eccentric drug tycoon wants revenge on 8 individuals so he captures them in order to have them play his game. The sharks in the film are horrible and in no way look real. They aren't even in the same frames as the actors, you either see a shark alone in the water or an actor being attacked or trying to escape. The acting is bad, but on par with other low budget shark movies. The movie drags on, boring you. If you can make it through the whole thing congrats, you just wasted an hour and a half of your life. I only checked this out because I like shark movies and this was new to netflix instant stream. Don't bother

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• One of The Asylum's Best But That's Not Saying Too Much

  Michael_Elliott2012-08-04

  Shark Week (2012) ** (out of 4) Everyone's favorite studio, The Asylum, is back with their latest offering. A madman (Patrick Bergin) kidnaps the eight people he blames for his son's death and forces them to play a game. The game is that they must enter various stages where they have to fight a different breed of shark. SHARK WEEK comes from director Christopher Ray who had previously done 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK so he's really putting his name on the genre. As for as films from The Asylum go, this here is probably one of the best from the studio but that's still not saying too much. I think the story here was actually a fairly interesting one, although there's no doubt that the producers were ripping off the SAW franchise and the Bergin character really comes across as a weak Jigsaw replacement. The story works for the most part because it's rather funny seeing humans having to battle sharks and it leads to some of the dumbest moments in any film I've seen this year. Just check out the various ways they try to fight the sharks and it leads to a really crazy final sequence against a Great White. Bergin really hams it up here but this is a good thing because his over-the-top performance at least makes you smile. The eight "players" don't feature Oscar-worthy performances but they're at least what you'd expect from a film like this. There are several problems with the film including the awful special effects. The effects are so bad but this is to be expected in a film like this. I understand they can't afford top-notch special effects but if this is the best you can do then there's no point of making a film because every time the sharks are on screen you really get taken out of the action because of how fake they look. Another problem is that out of the eight characters there's really no one to cheer for so you never really get caught up in their survival. Still, fans of "C" creature features should at least be entertained.

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• Really bad

  SanteeFats2012-08-05

  I recorded this movie on the "mighty" scyfy channel. I should have known better. I was done by the first commercial. Stupid plot, the bad ass female girlfriend of the villain is ugly and old. The villain is a moron but I guess rich.Two month old shark pups of any species are NOT flesh eaters except for fish. Almost every shark species that eats prey that are not fish do so after getting to a larger size. The great white doesn't start eating pinnipeds until growing to about ten-twelve feet. It is way too dangerous for the smaller size sharks to attempt taking on such larger size prey. The special effects are not very impressive and the acting is lame.

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