Inara, the Jungle Girl (2012) Reviews

• Makes "Gigli" look like "Citizen Kane"

  miked60222012-04-19

  What was the point of this movie? Why did they waste film making it? Why did I actually watch the entire thing when I should have turned it off after thirty seconds? To put it mildly, this movie lacks a plausible story, lacks any sense of meaningful dialogue, and does not have one character with any shred of passable acting ability. The characters are miscast, to say the least: Since when are midriff t-shirts and belly button rings standard Army issue? The Amazons, themselves, look like they would not last one day in "The Rainforest Cafe" let alone an Amazonian jungle. It is also comforting to know that there is no shortage of hair, make-up, or hygiene products in the Amazon. If your next plane trip crash lands in the Jungle,you may die from dehydration or disease, but you will certainly always look your best. This flick takes "bad film making" from the gutter and pulls it down into the sewer. "Inara" is a complete waste of time....an exploitation film at it's absolute lowest. I could have made a better movie about cutting my toenails using an iPhone camera that would have more drama than this trash.

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• eye candy, nothing more...

  jimmbkd2012-12-13

  The bad parts of this movie are so bad, they're beyond laughable... as if a guy trying to slap a girl around in the hold of a C-19 would cause the four engine transport to crash! I could go on... the fight scenes were terrible, 'specially since this flick was made by an all girls wrestling video company. Screenplay was horrible, spent a full half hour letting the heroine brood over her 'father' dying with virtually no dialog, which was better, now that I think about it, than the dialog that we finally heard. The military aspects of this movie were so bad, you wish they had hired some out-of-work vet, even a Coast Guard vet, to consult... The good parts, however were excellent. First, the girls, then the costumes, then the girls, then the cinematography, then the girls, then the dancing, then the girls, then the music, then the girls. Every movie has a place, a purpose, a use. I recommend this movie to an after-the-rugby match beer blast, a frat party where someone forgot to invite the sororities, or... if you have a pesky girlfriend you want to get rid of, a date night movie.

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• Hard on the Eyes

  magnus780-819-6868622015-07-01

  I tried to watch this movie and keep an open mind but for a low budget B Movie they didn't leave anything to the imagination - story was choppy, actors were rushed and possessed no emotion or credibility. I can honestly say this is one of the worst movies I have ever viewed - I have seen home made YouTuber videos that blow this out of the water. I wish I could at least say that the scantly clad girls were worth some stars but they were horrible actresses/models who where stiff and would be better played on Silent Hill as the bandaged nurses. Anyway to each their own...stay clear of this eye sore of a movie as there are far better movies out there with much better storyline, actors, directors, writers, and editors. I would be embarrassed to say I worked on this movies or put it on a resume.

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• Exploitation? Well, maybe ...

  cyndycooper42-790-2880272013-09-13

  Well, let's face it, you're not going to be expecting scintillating performances or a gripping plot from an exploitation movie, but ... the first third of the movie consists mostly of montages of random city scenes and Inara brooding over lousy music. The writer doesn't seem to understand how paramilitary forces work. The "battle of the sexes" framing fails completely because the evil paramilitary organization contains female soldiers. The "big twist" is telegraphed so heavily that until the "reveal" I didn't realize it was supposed to be a surprise. There would normally be a big dose of uncomfortable "primitive savages have no hope until a white person comes to lead them" racism (spoiler? kinda, though it was so predictable it almost doesn't count as one) but since the Amazons are more diverse than a Benetton ad it fails even at being offensive. The actresses are from a wrestling promotion, but at least professional wrestlers chew the scenery entertainingly; these actresses seem to be competing for best impression of a Disney animatronic -- the only competent actor is the little girl. Everyone else is on a binary toggle switch between "I'm angry because I'm shouting" and "this is boring, when can I go home?" Even putting all that aside and looking purely at the eye candy ... this doesn't even work as exploitation. There is no nudity, no T&A closeups, no sexy poses. There are plenty of skimpy swimsuits, but not any different than you'd see at the average beach. They managed to write a movie about an isolated all-female tribe without the slightest implication of homosexuality. I go into an exploitation movie expecting to feel half titillated and half outraged, and I spent this one all bored. If you have a specific thing for seeing thin, small-breasted, heavily made-up women with bare backs photographed from behind there may be something here for you.

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• Best thing was the candid footage running with the end credits

  b9robot2015-07-03

  I can't believe I actually sat through the whole movie! I could forgive just about everything that is wrong with this film (there's a lot wrong, believe me) if it was a college project or a home-grown piece of fun that a bunch of friends got together to make. But, as a commercial release, a viewing audience is far less tolerant. The pacing, mostly a result of really bad editing, barely gets past a crawl. Long, drawn out and repetitive shots abound, trying to make the most of the female eye candy on screen. All it succeeded in doing is boring me to death. Even with a bevy of quite attractive women, you need at least some acting chops to carry the story, as vapid as it is. Oh, here's a hint girls, acting angry does not mean you yell your lines unintelligibly straight at the camera... Fight choreography was non-existent. The final battle was completely laughable, stealing beats from 'Avatar' in the lead up to it. A group of bikini clad women sporting cast off swords and shields from '300' up against a bunch of mercenary grunts three times their size and armed to the teeth just looked like a bad joke, one which the director unbelievably followed through with. I would have given away the idea of watching it at all if I hadn't been laughing so hard. This is a film that will likely not even see the discount bins at any reputable store. Definitely one to avoid.

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